Dads: love ’em or hate ’em, they do have their moments. These are most notably in the form of their terrible dad jokes. Well, we say ‘terrible’, but we do have a secret love for them. And this selection of dad jokes proves that they’re seriously underrated.
Can you get through these 27 terrible dad jokes without cringing? Maybe you recognise some from your own family? Either way, let us know your favourite joke over on our Facebook page.
- I have a fear of speed bumps. I’m slowly getting over it.
- Reversing the car: “Ahh, this takes me back.”
- What do you call a woman with one leg longer than the other? Eileen.
- I have a fear of lifts. I’m taking steps to avoid it.
- What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
- Daughter: “Can you call me a taxi?”
Dad: “You’re a taxi!”
- A flock of geese passes by overhead, in class ‘v’ formation.
Dad: “Do you know why one side of the ‘v’ is longer than the other?”
Son: “No, why?”
Dad: “Because it has more geese.”
- Be careful standing near those trees. They look kind of shady to me.
- Did you know you can tell whether an ant is a girl or a boy by dropping it in water? If it sinks it’s a girl ant. If it floats, it’s boy ant.
- Man this Tuesday is dragging on so long it’s starting to feel like a Threesday.
- Dad: “Are you cold?”
Dad: “You should sit in a corner.”
Dad: “Because it’s 90 degrees.”
- A man with anxiety accidentally annoyed the cartel. He began seeing a psychiatrist because of Hispanic attacks.
- Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
- Friend: “Hey! You got a hair cut!”
Dad: “Nope, I got them ALL cut.”
- Last Christmas we bought a fake Christmas tree, and the guy behind the counter said, “Are you going to put it up yourself?” My dad said, “Don’t be disgusting. I’m going to put it in the living room.”
- Leather armour is perfect for sneaking because it’s literally made of hide.
- Did you know a lion can jump higher than a tree? Because trees can’t jump.
- What do you call a man with no nose and no body? Nobody nose.
- “Excuse me, does your chef have frogs legs?”
“I’m sorry sir. I haven’t checked under his apron.
- Son: “I feel like a burger.”
Dad: “You don’t look like one to me.”
- Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!
- “Grandad had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.”
- How do you keep an idiot waiting? I’ll tell you later.
- If I had two fish I would name them ‘one’ and two’. That way if one died I’d still have two.
- Right over there is the cemetery. Everyone is dying to get in.
- Want to hear a joke about construction? Nah, I’m still working on it.
- My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only that, but it’s also terrible.
Enjoyed these terrible dad jokes? Then you’ll probably like some of RiseFeed’s other articles too, including 33 Thoughts That Will Mess With Your Mind and 18 Confusing Optical Illusions That Will Play With Your Mind.