From the ridiculous to the satisfying to the inspirational, memorable people and events have graced our year as we approach Thanksgiving 2015. Here are a few we’d like to commemorate:
He’s offended just about everyone in the country, earned the name “F**kface von Clownstick,” and he’s ready to lead the country…Donald Trump may be the most ridiculous presidential candidate in United States history, and he has the hair and the tweets to back it up. The billionaire’s Twitter posts have offered unwanted dating advice to Katy Perry, accused China of inventing global warming to harm the U.S. economy, and proclaimed his IQ as “one of the highest and you all know it!” We all need a good laugh every once in a while, and for Thanksgiving 2015, we’d like to thank Mr. Trump for lightening the mood…Unintentionally.
The actor’s motivational “Just Do It” speech went viral mid-year, leading to thousands of hilarious edits. But we had to take a step back and appreciate the raw, furious, yet controlled emotion in which LaBeouf delivered the message. In reality, the actor improvised the performance from a script written by performing arts students as part of a larger project. A few months later, a tipsy LaBeouf was handcuffed in Austin after screaming at an officer to “Do whatever the *** you have to do!” Thanks, Shia. You’re an inspiration to us all, and we wish you a joyous Thanksgiving 2015.
A hero we needed and deserved appeared on the presidential polls in July, capturing nearly nine percent of votes in North Carolina. The noggin behind the Nuts was 15-year-old Brady Olson, an ambitious high-school student who even posted his platform on his personal website. While he can’t legally become president, we were excited and humored to see someone too young to cast a ballot go up against the likes of Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Deez Nuts even used the publicity to announce his support for Democratic candidate Bernie Sanders. So, Deez Nuts, we thank you for rising up and standing firm for our country.
Pretty Pink Burgers
Following in the bumbling footsteps of Burger King and McDonald’s, KFC flopped into China with pink buns. The “Rose Cheese Roasted Chicken Burger” was sent to Chinese celebrities in an ornate box complete with a faux rose. The reception, as anyone could’ve called, was less than rosy. Sales plummeted faster than customers’ appetites when they laid eyes on the sometimes pale, sometimes vivid pink buns. Thanks for the cringe and the laughs, KFC. And thanks for not bringing this abomination to the U.S. Sincerely, everyone.
Martin Shkreli became one of the most despised faces in America when he inflated the price of a promising AIDS drug from $13.50 to $750 per pill – an increase of over 5,500 percent. When questioned by the media, Shkreli showed no remorse for his decision and hired a public relations team to protect his image. While Shkreli did nothing illegal, we’d be hard pressed to find a purer, more unbridled representation of corporate greed outside of the pages of a comic book. Fortunately, a superhero appeared – one without a secret identity or special powers. Just in time for Thanksgiving 2015, Imprimis Pharmaceuticals announced it would offer an alternative to Shkreli’s $750 pill at the low price of one dollar per pill, making it accessible to nearly everyone affected by AIDS.
A Caring Crusader
Speaking of superheroes, we give our thanks to Batman. No, not Bruce Wayne, but Leonard B. Robinson, known for cruising the streets of Washington, D.C. in his custom Lamborghini Batmobile. Tragedy struck the Maryland community when Robinson experienced engine troubles, leading to a collision that claimed his life. The 51-year-old was known for handing out books, toys, and other gifts to children in need. Robinson devoted much of his time to Hope for Henry, a charity dedicated to brightening the lives of hospitalized children in the area. Known as “Lenny,” the Batman of Route 29 appeared in full costume time and time again to bring hope to kids who needed it most. And we’re honored to have him top off our list of things we appreciate for Thanksgiving 2015.
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